From "Out, dang spot!" to looking up

Oftentimes, I find myself so engrossed in the idea of my own sin that my very confessions seem to separate me from God. The Bible says we should confess our sins to God. However, it also says that if we do, He is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Not only does He forgive us, but He also purifies us, so that those sins are no longer a part of us. When I realize my sin, I feel so guilty, so disgusted that I let down God again, that I don't even feel worthy to hold His Bible or to talk to Him. Today, God 'told' me how He feels about that.
I was sitting in my room, singing praises to God, along with some of my favorite Waterdeep songs, and a thought came to me. This is it. This is what God wants me to do. He wants me to realize who He is and focus on Him, on glorifying Him. What I had been doing was focusing on myself. I was so entranced by the wickedness of myself, that I failed to see God's greatness. When I refuse to let go of my guilt, I'm telling Jesus that His sacrifice wasn't enough for me; that, in a sense, I am bigger than Him. Of course, Jesus was perfect, and therefore served as the perfect sacrifice to pay for my sins. I can be forgiven and I can move on.
Why, then, do I hold on to that pain? I think sometimes, it gives me a reason to not serve God further. I tell Him, see what I've done God (or what I haven't done that I should've)? Then, I use the excuse that I'm not good enough or brave enough or whatever enough to do what He wants me to. The truth is, I'm not...But He is. I just need to let Him work through me.
And this is how awesome God is. He is merciful enough to forgive me of whatever I have done, and He is big enough to turn a little weasel like me into a powerful God-glorifying machine.
Praise God, oh, my soul!